Poetry Challenge II
Earlier this year, we had a poetry challenge on this blog. It was so much fun and so many people surprised us with their wordsmithing! It is time to do it again before summer fades.
So here is the challenge:
1) The title of the poem and the first line will be:
"If on this summer evening..." (fill in the blanks)
2) It must be 10 lines (no more no less)
3) It doesn't have to rhyme
4) It can be in any language (as long as you can translate it for me)
5) Open to all age groups
6) One poem per person please
The winner will have a choice of the following 5"x7" paintings
The challenge closes next Sunday September 2 at midnight EST.
Sharpen your pencil and bard away!
35 comments:
I'm not much of a poet, but I'll try. I might not post it... but I'll give it a shot. =P
Yippie! I haven't written a poem in years, but I will for the chance to win one of your paintings. This will be a fun challenge and everyone will just become so creative!
The first entry comes from Brenda Lee, a good friend and, as you can see below, a consummate wordsmith:
If on this summer evening
the wind should catch its breath
and startled by the emptiness
of summer’s impending death
should drop and make to die
itself, as if at the behest
of that which intertwines all things
and seeks, itself, to rest,
Then calm must offer up itself
As space within which life might dwell.
Thank you Brenda
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Audrey I know you can do it. Just let loose and you will see.
There you go Bobbie! That's the spirit.
Brenda!!! your words are as beautiful as you. And as intricate too, m'love.
Above comment removed by me as it looked dreadful because it was unreadable it split partway through lines.
Instead, I posted my effort here
http://holycarpet.blogspot.com/2007/08/poetry-challenge.html
Wow Irene
I love your poem.
England's Summer Washout
If on this summer evening
The rain begins to fall
Just look around you garden
The plants are growing tall
The diamond drops on velvet leaf
Adorn the branches of the tree
The spiders web shines with the dew
He's spun his own lace filigree
Just one thing missing, the clouds a-glower
But there's its face in the tall sunflower
Bev has done a GREAT poem on her blog
check it out dudes.
If on this summer evening
you were to come home to me
saying mom I saw the light
I am free,clean and sober
though I wasted alot of our time
we have years ahead of us
to make it alright
I am working a full time job
benefits abound
I want you to meet my loving wife
Irene, if you click on the Trash/Recycle icon, you can remove the poem, then you can re submit it through comments again - I don't think anyone else can edit your comment
Irene don't worry I will fix the poem when I post it in the final post on Sunday. I love all the poems. It is going to be hard to choose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess revising my poem would be cheating? Or are your rules as "rigid" as Rima's?
Hey Bobbie, what is cheating? I am not familiar with the term ;)
Cheat away! Since when do rules apply to artists and poets anyway!?
Als op een zomeravond laat
Jij zegt dat schoonheid vergankelijk is
En de zwangere maan je woorden tegenspreekt
Laat je dan niet door de planeten verblinden
Die ook het eeuwige leven hebben.
En als in de nacht van het volle maanlicht
De sterren fonkelen als licht reclame van God
Slaap dan niet als een gevallen engel
Vergeten door God en verloren voor mij
En noem mijn bij mijn naam in het gloren van de morgen.
If on a summer evening late
You say that beauty is perishable
And the pregnant moon contradicts your words
Do not let yourself be dazzled by the planets
Which also have the eternal life.
And if in the night of the full moonlight
The stars glow as light publicity of god
Sleep not as a fallen angel
Forgotten by god and lost to me
And call me by my name in the glimmer of the morning.
I gave it a shot. Don't laugh at me.
Click me
If on this summer evening
I should forget
to remember you
Moths will meet under the street light
A dog will bark just to hear a reply
A mother will call her children to bed
A screen door will slam shut far away
If on this dark summer evening
I should forget
to remember you.
Here is my cheating version
If on this Summer's evening
I should step outside
and feel the damp of the night
and hear the rustle of the wind
I would look up and find your star
and see your smiling face
and your bright blue eyes
gazing back at me
If on this Summer's evening
I should step outside
~Bobbie~
Fawzan, you can't choose! it's impossible - who knew everyone has such a poet hiding inside? where's yours?
BTW, you have to help me design an album on the website to have all of these beauties in one place. I am so crazy about this idea, but I need help, mr. Html
Not part of the contest:
If on this summer evening shooting stars
Like moths, should willingly give up their flight
And burn away and turn into mere rocks
To be on earth and closer to your light
If this soft lake should stretch out with each wave
pleading with the breeze that gently blows
to give it hope, and help its rising tide
and draw it near to touch your sandy toes
Why do we lie together but apart
afraid to touch, afraid what we may start
Let's do it my dear! I will help you put them all together....Now if everyone can illustrate their peom with a photshop image...hmmm
Wow Bobbie, nice cheat - and wow Fawzan, your poem is a winner - very powerful - why can't you be in the comp? and what about Rima, where is your poem?
And this photoshop idea? LOL ;-)
Are you two put on Earth to keep us all out of mischief?
Hi Frances, Thanks. I can't really win my own painting now can I?
Of course Rima can - and should take the challenge. Rima?
Buque buque bu quaaaque!
If on this summer evening
A fog comes rolling in
If tears do fly down through the dark sky
If fever rounds one hundred and ten
If I drown out your voice
And toss all your toys
Then where shall forgiveness begin?
It's in my summer sunrise
The red orange of my eyes
Mother Nature's new pardon shall commence
Irene, your poem is wonderful.
Calling me chicken ain't gonna do it.
My english no so good anyway. I'll have to do it in French
go on then rima - do it in french
neda will translate it. LOL
;-)
Fawzan, you should have an alternative prize next time, then if you choose yourself as the winner, you can award yourself something that doesn't already belong to you... solution! ;-)
Fawzan, thank you for this .. I was hoping to do it, but time got away. Perhaps the next one I will play ... these are cool entries!!
~ Diane Clancy
www.dianeclancy.com/blog
If on this summer evening
I saw you through the window
Your head bent low and
Walking toward me
I would welcome you in
If in your eyes
Acquiescence reveals that
Life's lessons learned come hard
Than that, my dear, son
Is my heart's delight
OK... So I guess I have to make a decision eh? Not going to be easy I can tell you that. All of you did a heck of a job and I am glad that Rima is capturing all of these wonderful jewels on a webpage.
I am down to two poems, and I need to sleep on it for a day. I will give you the top poem tomorrow. Sigh!
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